Fraud

I’m such a fraud. I went through and read some of my old blog post and realized that I am just a big fraud. I write about grand ideas and notions but never follow through with a single thing. Why?

Well, I think that I have a similar problem to most people out there. I get distracted by life. My previous post was all about getting healthy and running Spartan Races. Since that post was written last year I have worked out all of 2 times. Just a few days after that post was written I lost my job. I had already signed up for 2 other spartan races for the year and was prepared to have the most healthy year of my life. A little more than a year later I can say that I was unable to run either of my other two races and did not stay on course with my health goals.

There are actually a lot of goals that I didn’t stick to last year. I was not less than 210 lbs by December 31. I did not have my level 1 CrossFit instructors license. And, the most disappointing was that I had somewhere along the way forgotten what my real responsibility in this life was: To love and steward my family in a way that honors God.

I got completely turned around. I was living selfishly and wasn’t concerned with fixing it.

But then, almost a year to the date of being laid off from my other job, I was fired. It happened out of nowhere. On Tuesday and Wednesday I was being complimented for my performance. On Friday I was fired, without reason. Talk about a wrench in my plans. I was so confused, and hurt, and lost. I had drifted so far away from where I wanted to be that I was shaken deeply by this change. I had no where to turn but to the Cross and to my family. And that’s what I did.

That was more than a month ago. I am still unemployed, but man am I happy. I began to work on me, on my interactions with my wife and kids, on my perception of what others thinks of me, on being better. When I say better, I mean that I think and react and see others out of a place of love. I want to see my relationships as opportunities to love people the way Christ loves me: without expectation, without wanting something in return, without judgement.

I have a long way to go but I will get there. It will not be easy, and it will not be quick, but Jesus says that I must change and so I will do my part in transforming my lifestyle to bring praise to the Lord.

If you are still reading I would like to recommend some books that are really stirring my spirit as of late:

Scary Close by Donald Miller

Interrupted by Jen Hatmaker

Loving Our Kids on Purpose by Danny Silk

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