Chocolate Milk

I love me some chocolate milk. Actually, I drink a glass of homemade chocolate milk almost every morning for breakfast. No, I didn’t make the milk. And no, I didn’t make the chocolate syrup. But I do put them together each morning in my favorite FrogHead Grill cup(courtesy of Clinton, MS) and stir until there is a beautiful brownish-gray liquid for my enjoyment. And that is all done at my home, so home-made.

I am a chocolate milk snob to be honest, so it has to be just right. I can’t have too much chocolate. But at the same time, I can’t have too little either. I want chocolate milk not diluted chocolate syrup, or slightly discolored milk.

What’s strange to me is that chocolate milk is amazingly similar to our hearts. I know that sounds incredibly odd, but let me explain. You see, to make chocolate milk you have to add the black syrup to the white milk. Once the syrup is added and the milk is stirred there is no going back. You can never get the chocolate out 100%. The same thing goes for what we “take in.” Our minds have the ability to store images and phrase for an indefinite amount of time. I can recall images I looked at when I was ten years old. And there is a good chance you can too.

So, I guess the question to ask is: “What is your syrup?” I mean “What are you putting in?”

I actually spoke on this topic just last night. If we are called to remain pure of heart, then how can we expect to be pure if our mind is polluted with Pornography, Gossip, Slander, Violence, Covetedness (I couldn’t come up with a better word there)? What we influences our everyday influences our hearts just as much as it does our minds.

Thankfully for us there is Grace. Even though the milk of my mind will never be chocolate free again, I still have the ability to overcome the muddled mind that I have created by relying on the Papa’s amazing grace.

I want to leave you with this. Your milk may already have syrup in it, but that doesn’t mean you have to keep adding more. Be careful what you put in.

My name is Jason White, and I am sinner, saved by grace, and loved beyond what I deserve.

Sin is your nature

I feel as though I have missed the mark on the sin debate. I feel like most of us have. I was raised in the camp that says you have to adhere to a strict standard of rules and regulations to be sin free. I later joined the camp that states all of my sins are covered by Grace: past, present, and future.

But…

I used that as an excuse for my sin. As a way out. As a way to give up¬†responsibility for my actions. “I’m a sinner, that’s my nature. I still love God, but I still sin.” Which is true. We all sin. But, what if we quit using Grace as a¬†crutch?¬†Let me open that up for you.

I try to fight my sin, and since I can’t defeat sin I will always be fighting sin. So, I give in and just say that Grace will cover my sin(and it does), but I feel like a prostitute. I do what I want and then let God cover my butt.

I will never be able to defeat sin. But Papa defeated my sin at salvation. I only have to fight against myself. Against my bad habits. Against my learned thought processes. And guess what, It isn’t easy. It’s a down right battle. Oswald Chambers puts it like this:

“The conflict is along the line of turning our natural life into a spiritual life, and this is never done easily, nor does God intend it to be done easily. It is done only by a series of moral choices.”

It is tough, and¬†unfortunately I don’t always make the best choices, which in turn makes it that much harder. But, I’m trying. I don’t want to cheapen my salvation by doing whatever I want because I know Grace will be there to pick me up. I want to live a life that is pleasing to Papa. I want to be sanctified to Christ. And, I am the only one who can do that. I have to make the moral¬†decisions everyday that will draw me closer to Him.

So what habits or prejudices do you have that need to be diligently and deliberately stricken from your life?

My name is Jason. I’m a sinner covered by grace, washed in the blood, and tying to live a life that is pleasing to my savior.

Self-Realization

I don’t know if it’s just me, or maybe there are other almost 30 year olds out there trying to figure themselves out. I feel like I have lost touch with what makes me tick. With what brings me true joy. I keep getting things wrong. It seems like I keep screwing up.

I feel like I need to “fix” myself. I have been trying to come to a point of Self-Realization. To a place where I have everything figured out and I know what is wrong with me. A place where I not only know what is wrong with me, but why, and how to fix it.

But, what if that’s not the point?

Papa doesn’t want a self-realized man. He simply wants me. He wants the broken me. He wants the hurting me. He wants the me that gets mad at his wife sometimes. And the me that sucks at managing his finances.

He wants all of my Crap just the way it is. He wants everything that I have to offer Him. Good or bad. He wants me and all the baggage so that He can use it. He wants to pour me out, all of me. He wants to use my bad for His good. He wants to use my weakness for His strength. He wants to use my ugliness for His beauty. And He wants to use all of me for His Glory.

Devotion to Papa is not about realizing all of your faults and failures and trying to fix them. It’s about laying all of that down and allowing Grace to wash over you. Let Papa change you, you aren’t strong enough to do it on your own.

My name is Jason. I am a sinner, a failure, and a bastard son. A ragamuffin covered by grace and washed by the Blood of the Lamb.

What is your dream worth?

Man, that’s a heavy question. As much as I daydream, I still can’t even pinpoint exactly what my dream is. I have some ideas: Start my own really cool restaurant, buy into a really cool franchise restaurant if I can’t start my own really cool restaurant, Be a christian camp director, be a worship leader, be a designer of really cool things, build a completely self-sustainable electric car, etc….

Maybe I shouldn’t be asking what My dream should be. Maybe I should be asking what does Papa have instore for me.

Is my dream worth giving up? Is my faith worth more than my dream? Is Papa worth more to me than my dream?

For years I have tried to fit my faith into my dreams. That means that my dreams will always take¬†precedence over my faith. The big problem with that is that Papa said to have no gods before Him. And, I realize that a dream doesn’t seem like a god, but if it comes before Papa then I have given it that power. (I hope that you aren’t expecting the answer to these questions. I’m just not that smart).

I struggle everyday to lay down my will and surrender it to Papa. And honestly, I usually go with my will over his(which is probably why I’m such a failure). But, what would my life, and my dream for that matter, look like if I quit holding onto my will?

I believe that I haven’t made the best choices in life, and I haven’t always walked in the will of God, but I also believe that as soon as I admit my mistakes and confess those to Papa, that I am immediately placed back in the will of God. As long as i continue to trust Him, and turn to Him then I can not escape(that’s funny, it’s spelled just like escape) His will.

So maybe it’s not a question of what my dream is worth. Maybe it is a question of how dependent am I on God. If I depend on Him for my next breath, my next meal, my next step, then my dream will be dependent on Him as well.

My name is Jason. A sinner saved by grace, blessed to live another day.